The view from here

Please excuse the very last picture of me. It's a really worn-out first time mommy right after giving birth. Not exactly a "kodak" moment, but a life-changing one, for sure!

I'm sorry for all of you who want to hear how bad my life is.........I just don't have those words tonight. All I have is praise to Jesus for the life I live. I don't deserve one single moment of it.

I refer to this time as the "mountain top." I feel like it simply could not be better.

I've spent the better part of my days looking ahead to this time, and I believe I'll spend the rest of my days reminiscing about this very short stage of life.

I have always dreamed about having a handsome husband who revolves his life around God, me and his kids. Got it.

I have always dreamed about having numerous (a house full) of ankle-biters calling me Mommy. Got it.

I have always dreamed about being a teacher and enjoying snow days and lazy summer days with my kids. Got it.

I have always dreamed about having a yellow lab who spends his days laying by the fire. Instead, I got a yellow lab who has tumors everywhere and licks his body 24/7===pausing only to pass gas and run everyone out of the room.

I was talking to someone tonight about this year being my "grand finale" with teaching and it hit me. I am about to turn another page in this very brief chapter of my life. This sweet time with the first 3 children God blessed me with is about to pass. I am excited, of course, to move on to the next, even crazier, chapter; however, I want the world to know how much I absolutely love this one.

Call me crazy, but I went in to work over Christmas break one day when the girls were in preschool and Evan was at his mama's house. As I sat at my desk, my memory was flooded with all the time I've had with Evan in the mornings and afternoons in my classroom. It is exactly how I always wanted it: teaching in the school where my children attend. This year, I am teaching literally next door to his class. I can hear him sneeze in the middle of my lessons and be comforted in knowing how close he is. I am crying even as I type this, knowing how soon this will be over. It has been a lifetime of work to get to this point, and it's about to be over. It's very bittersweet.

My little Claire-Bear was my baby for so short a time. She became a big sister at the young age of 15 months. Since then, I've tried desperately to make sure she gets everything she needs and everything she deserves. I don't want to slight her at all, since she is the "middle" child. She is just as precious (if not MORE) as all her brothers and sisters, and I want her to know it. She went to her first dance class tonight. I had visions of bringing her home from the hospital when she was only 24 hours old and then fast-forwarded to a vision of her dancing with her daddy at her wedding. I know it will happen so fast----I'm trying not to blink. I could've watched her dance tonight forever.

Our sweet Sophie girl has been such a gift to us. She saved us from ourselves, we think. If not for her, we believe we'd be decently comfortable and MUCH less stressed out. We might even have time to think about ourselves every once-in-a-while. Tonight, as I rocked her before laying her in her bed (yes, I know you're thinking that she will be 3 in a month, but she is my BABY, people), she said "Mommy, I'm hungwy." I let out the most authentic laugh I've had in a while, because her little voice brought me the most satisfying pure joy. Her sweet little chipmunk voice will be gone before we know it.

We are excited that Evan will know what life was like before his Ethiopian siblings came home, and thrilled at the same time that Sophie will not remember life without 4 siblings.

I hope I never ever forget what this chapter felt like. I cherish it. The view from here is breathtaking. Thank you Jesus for letting me live even one day in these shoes.

One word

On K-Love this morning I heard a new year's resolution type of challenge. It is a one-word challenge. It goes like this:

Without using past mistakes and personal weaknesses as a catalyst, and instead using God's plan----what is one word you could focus on and live out in 2011?

Here's a link to a gal who's given this some thought. I am going to be thinking about what my one word will be. I have an idea, but I'm gonna see what the Big Man has to say about it.

http://www.gritandglory.com/2010/12/22/one-word-2011/

Happy New Year!

Wendy

Three-fifths

Merry Christmas from three-fifths of our children! We are hopeful that the remaining two-fifths will come home soon. We are finding it hard to describe how you can miss someone you've never met, but that's exactly how we feel. There are times when I'm counting to three (making sure we have them all) and I feel like someone is just missing. I'm pretty sure God has been working hard at knitting together our hearts since this process began. We cannot wait to see their little faces and give them a bath and put some new, clean (all their own!) clothes on them, and squeeze their cheeks and, oh yeah, love them for eternity.

Happy Birthday, Prince of Peace. Let our next trip around the sun bring You glory and bring us closer to You when we celebrate again next Christmas!

Next

We have received news this week from our case manager that we are currently the only family waiting for a sibling set of up-to-age 5!!!! That means that we are "next" in the waiting room of families to receive a referral!!!!

What is a referral? This means we will get a call (or email???) with specific medical and other pertinant information (including pictures!) about a sibling set and consider them for adoption. When we accept the referral, we will wait for a court date to be established and then travel to meet the children and appear in court---pleading our case to be their forever parents. After we pass court (doesn't happen the 1st time in about half the cases), we will return home-without the children- and wait for an embassy appointment. That will be about 6-8 weeks following the court date. The embassy has to grant permission for the children to leave the country, so a lot rides on the shoulders of that embassy date.

Friends, please pray this week that our referral will be soon and that God will continue to knit our hearts together, as we live an ocean apart.

And, during this week of Christmas, I will leave you with something that our family thinks is totally RAD: Jesus' life began and ended with adoption. He was adopted by Joseph at birth, and he designated Mary as the mother of "the disciple whom He loved" (John, the son of Zebede) as He was on the cross.

Read John 19:25-27 if you never have....to us, it's a great example of the plan of adoption. Of course, adoption is not a flawless, smooth, joyous plan, but if one can love outside their own flesh and blood----love someone who has never done anything for them---then, God's glory is written all over it.

To God Be the Glory! Great things He has done! So loved He the world that He gave us his Son.

Merry Christmas!

In Between

I need some serious lessons on how to get pictures where you want them on a blog. Anyway, here are some pictures from a few recent important days. The first few are from our 10 year wedding anniversary party we celebrated with our close friends. It was a hoot---the most fun I remember having in a L-O-N-G time. The 4th picture is our family eating at The Blue Nile Cafe in the River Market downtown Kansas City. It's one of the 2 Ethiopian Restaurants here in KC. The last several are of our birthday girl, Claire. We have quite a few happy memories lately! Read on for an adoption update (ish).

Hurry up and wait!!!

Our family has been on cruise control for the past several months. We have been enjoying the "hurry up and wait" period of our adoption.

However, our hearts are starting to stir again. It's becoming more difficult to wait. This weekend, I was listening to a great song by a good friend of our's, called In Between. It was the perfect description of how we feel these days.

We spent a great deal of time this weekend moving furniture and hanging coat hooks (looks pretty neat to see 6 coat hooks and anticipating them being full of coats and backpacks.). We feel like we are readying the Rust home for change. We are doing everything in our power to streamline and ease all the things we do every day. We moved couches and tables to allow for better "traffic" flow through the house. We cleared a room to make space for a child work/play space on the main level of the house. We put a couch in our bedroom, to prepare for children who need to be within sight/touch at night time to develop a strong sense of trust. It was pretty exciting. We took an online test after the kids went to bed and reviewed some important tips we need to research in order to be the parents all our children need and deserve.

In church, tears streamed down my face as I held hands with my son who is safe and warm and worshipping God right next to me (while kind people take care of our girls in the nursery). I was thinking about our little ones who are on the other side of the world and how we just can't get to them. Are their tummies full? When was the last time someone combed their hair or trimmed their nails? When was the last time someone told them they are the sun, moon and stars? When was the last time someone told them how much their heavenly Father loves them? When was the last time someone looked at them and took pride in their character? When was the last time someone held their hand and told them everything will be alright?

Adoption is so different from pregnancy. We knew in pregnancy when to expect our children's entrance to our world. With adoption, I don't know if it'll be tomorrow or next summer. It's like the coming of Christ. We know it's coming. No one knows the day or the hour----not even the angels.

God is in control, thank goodness. We are sure of that. We are just feeling the lonely He has set upon our family. We are not complete until our dinner table is full of children eating and laughing and even arguing. Let it be.

In Between

by Tyrus Morgan and Anthony Snape

No expectation, no insight

Without illusion or fear

With no regard for a history

All I want is you here

A single soul in a landslide

Bringing the mountains to dust

Taking the space out of distance

We will learn to love and trust

I'll keep coming til there's nothing

In Between
Nothing seperating you from me
An unrelenting gravity
I'll keep coming til there's nothing in between.

The rumble of a collision

Brings me down to my knees

A shaking realization

This is more than just a dream

closer come closer

step by step by step

There's no rock I won't break down

No walls hold me now

Thanks, Ty, for putting into words what this process has laid on our hearts.

My Father's House

In Uganda, people call children's homes (orphanages) "the Father's house." It is a metaphor to what Jesus says about Heaven. In John 14:2, Jesus talks about our Father's house. He says "In My Father's house are many rooms." These homes built by Global Orphan Project are a dream come true for these children who have nowhere and no one to turn to.

We are excited to report that 2 homes are now full of 22 girls in Lira, Uganda, who otherwise would have been without. 2 more girls will be moving in soon.

One home is called the "Wilma Cook House of Hope," named in honor of my sweet grandma. I've shared this on earlier blogs, but my grandma lived in an orphanage from the time she was 5 years old until she "aged out." She was never available for adoption and shares much in common with the girls who call "the Wilma Cook House of Hope" home. Her stories of the time she spent in the Baptist Home for Girls in St. Louis always inspired me to do more for the fatherless. She used to tell me about the "Knot-Hole Gang." The knot-hole gang would walk to the baseball stadium, then known as "Sportsman's Park" (later to be known as Busch Stadium), and watch the ballgame through the knot holes in the fence. She always had a passion for Cardinal baseball. Up until the day she died, and despite her Alzheimer's complications, she kept up with the Cardinals~~especially Albert Pujols. Her stories are precious memories for me. I can't tell you how much I wish she could've lived to see these homes be built in her honor.

The second home is called the "Chris McKenna Home." It is named in honor of a special lady who touched many lives as an educator and passed away from cancer a year ago.

Each home:

~cost $5000 to build

~12 girls and one mama (girls are not available for adoption)

~located close to medical help and a church (The Church of Uganda)

~located close to a school

~girls get 2 meals a day of rice and beans; one is fortified with a powdered nutrient

~fully sponsored (24 children!!!!) for 3 years at $40/month/child. After 3 years, the home will be self-sustaining.....this is the BIGGEST praise.

Thank you to all who supported this worthy work and encouraged our family through the process. It is a blessing to see the fruit of so many people's labor. We aren't always so lucky to see where our hard work gets us....

You can see pictures of some of the girls by clicking on this link.

You can see videos and more information about the Lira village here.

May God bless each and every one of the girls and the mama in these homes. May His perfect peace and joy fill the homes every day. May their tummies be full and their bodies rested every night when they lay down in their new home. All this to the Glory of our Father, who allowed us to be a small part in His BIG plan.

These walls

Oh, the things these walls have heard this week. Jason posted a status on facebook that made me cry I was laughing so hard. I had to share it with the world. It was a listing of all the things said in our house last night. Here goes:

"Stop scratching there."

"No, there are not wood chips in your butt."

"Wendy, you can't run away!"

"Sophie is pooping her pants but I'm too tired to get up."

"Sophie won't sit on the toilet."

"Sophie won't get off the toilet."

"Evan, stop reading Peter and read Psalms!"

"There is no way people sweep every day."

"I could not possibly have more crumbs on my feet than I do right now."

"Oh, Claire, you do have wood chips in your panties!"

~~Now, let the world hear what God has to say about living with all these little crazies:

Psalm 127:3-5 Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord. Like arrows in the hand of a warrior are sons born in one's youth. Blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them. (I love that part.)