Thursday, December 13, 2012

Heart Attack

I know it might be hard for some to believe, but there was a period of roughly 2 years when I loved to run.  I ran with 2 special people, one friend and one sister.  I have such fond memories of that physically fit time in my life.  We were pretty dedicated and disciplined about getting in 3 solid runs per week.  It seemed that no matter how comfortable we were with the running, it always hurt for the first 5-10 minutes, until we found our pace and our heart had time to catch up with our legs.  It was so tempting every single time, just to slow to a walking pace until the hurt went away, but we always pushed through until it felt like we were on cruise control.  

I feel like that is a great example of what life feels like right now:  the beginning of a run.  There are days it is so incredibly difficult and I just want to hit the easy button.  We are dealing with sick kids who need our constant care and attention and healthy kids who are trying to understand a new language and life outside a 10' x 10' room.  There are a lot of moving parts here and it is not easy trying to figure it all out!

If you have called or texted or emailed and I haven't answered, it's probably because I was wiping a nose, taking someone potty, tying someone's shoes, getting someone a snack, picking up remains of broken goods, or maybe it's because I declined the call altogether.  I know that sounds so rude, and it pains me to admit it, but there are days I just don't have a lot of words for anyone.  My brain feels like mush and my emotions have gone through a wild spectrum from glad to sad to confused to overjoyed (and the list goes on).  To do anything above survive is just not happening right now.  We'll get there, but it might not be soon.  

Many friends have asked what we need.  Here it is:  We need you to forgive us for missed calls, un-returned emails and texts, and general forgetfulness.  We love you all and need you.  We have not forgotten about you and the joy you bring us.  

Today is the first day since Nov. 16 when every person in this house is at school or work or home, where their normal routine would have them be.    On Nov. 17, it seems we went from a comfortable pace of living onto a treadmill paced at 10mph (which is faster than my short legs can carry me).  Please bear with us as our hearts adjust to this new pace and keep calling!   We will answer when we can and we need to know you still love us!