As much as we feel like expressing anger and disappointment, it just doesn't seem like the most appropriate reaction. We are shocked, anxious, and confused. We have a thousand questions with no answers. One thing we are sure of: God is not shocked, anxious, nor confused.
To give you some perspective: about a month ago, we started to become rather impatient and anxious about our referral. We wanted desperately to see the faces we've prayed for, for over a year now. We had good reason to be anxious~it had been 2 months since we'd been told we were the "next" to be called for a referral for age 5 and younger siblings. We had also hit the 8 month wait time, which was the extent we believed we would have to wait. When we started the adoption process in December of 2009, we were told by multiple adoption agencies that 8 months was the average wait time for families (post dossier shipping and translation).
Just last week, our focus became pretty intense. Our family of five held hands and prayed for a referral of our missing 2 children to come that very week. We poured out our hearts' desires to Him numerous times early last week. On Thursday, we started to hear rumors about a possible drastic cut in Ethiopian adoptions. Rumors run a muck in the adoption community all the time. Our emotions had become somewhat numb to any negative press on Ethiopian adoption. Still, the March 10 "effective" date swirled in our heads. Today, it is on the US State Dept. site. It is official.
As I was preparing to write this post tonight, Oprah happened to be on the TV in our room. My man, Garth Brooks, was the featured guest. Anyone who knows me, knows I love me some Garth. Jason and I were watching a little here and there, when Garth started singing an acoustic version of "Unanswered Prayers." I watched, thinking only about the love story behind the lyrics. Then it hit me like a ton of bricks. Our fervent prayers to be quickly united with the children we so deeply long to provide a family and a future for, is being answered! It's not the answer we thought it was going to be. We are confident that it is simply too large for us to see from this vantage point.
Tonight, the Rusts choose to give praise and honor to the Maker of this plan, to the God of the Universe, the God of Ethiopia. This has been one of my favorite scriptures since a bible study I took on Habakkuk in 2007. It seems somewhat fitting:
Though the fig tree may not blossom, nor fruit be on the vine; Though the labor of the olive may fail and the fields yield no food; though the flock be cut off from the fold and there be no herd in the stalls, yet I WILL REJOICE IN THE LORD, I WILL JOY IN THE GOD OF MY SALVATION!