Thursday, February 16, 2012

Not mine

Jason reminded me this week of something I learned a few years ago.

I had heard a small portion of a sermon by Tony Evans on the radio in the car as I was headed to the store one day. I don't usually enjoy listening to Tony Evans, because he is a loud "Give me an 'Amen'!" kind of preacher. He was speaking on the subject of good stewardship.

I remember thinking, "Yea, I've heard all this before. I know, I know. My money isn't really mine. It's all from God; therefore it's all really His."

He did speak about stewarding our money. However, he then introduced the idea that nothing we have is our's. Nothing. Not our brains. Not our time. Not our house. Not our job. Not our health and energy. Not even our kids. They aren't our's to keep and hoard. Whoa. That hit me like a ton of bricks because I'd never thought about it that way. I had always thought, "God has blessed ME with this little life to enjoy and the job of raising up these children in a loving home."

It had never occurred to me that my babies weren't really mine. They are God's children, whom He has entrusted in my care during their time on this fleeting earth. Not only does that give me a tremendous sense of responsibility, but also a sense of freedom. It helps me remember that we're in this together, and that it's not completely up to me to do this perfectly. I can't do it alone.

I chewed on this idea for weeks and it still comes back every now and again when I feel scared or worried about their safety. I have to remind myself almost daily to release them into His hands, because they are His anyway.

This idea has become even more tangible with our fight for Jude. It seems as though God is reminding us through our wait that Jude is not our own. It's a relief that we are not fighting on our own. It's encouraging to know that we are not praying alone.

We believe we are pleading for Jude not only for our family, but for the gigantic family of friends and loved ones who have already decided to love him. We know that you will celebrate with us when he comes home. We are exceedingly happy to share him with you all. I just cannot wait to share his beautiful smile with the world. He is so worth all the blood, sweat, and tears we've shed on his behalf. He is so worth it. And there are millions more just like him, who are SO worth it. Can I get an "Amen!" ?

1 Samuel 1:27-29
For this child I prayed, and the Lord has granted me my petition which I asked of Him. Therefore I also have lent him to the Lord, as long as he lives, he shall be lent to the Lord."